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Sat 19 Oct 2024 · South Central Men's Division 5 North
Men's 2nd XIWindsor 2
D English (33'), J Lawrence (55'), M Moorhouse (58' Green Carded), E Woods (63')
3
2
BHHHC Mens 2s (Lions) 3:2 Windsor 2s
Jason Silver21 Oct - 15:19
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The one with Haydn's instinctive save (or he could not get out of the way fast enough)
A well-deserved 3-2 win vs Windsor 2s
Although ropey at times, we showed a strength and a determination that would have make King Leonidas envious. In one fell swoop, we’ve managed to leap-frog two titans of South Central Men's Division 5 North: Windsor 2s and Yateley 2s.
In typical Berko 2s fashion, we ingeniously started the game by going one nil down. We’re getting really good at lulling the opposition into a false sense of security…
Essentially, the game started and half of our team were caught daydreaming. Perhaps they were admiring the weather and thinking about how the rain had subsided so courteously to make way for a lovely afternoon game. Anyway, as they gazed upwards, with the exception of Jamie for who these clouds were probably about head height, we went 1 nil down after what felt like about 12 seconds.
After some quickly subdued shouting, we started to actually play some hockey. Jason didn’t kick the ball away, Dave was cantering around the pitch, and Jamie wafted the few remaining clouds away. Additionally, Jayden didn’t get sent off and, in the knowledge that his supportive girlfriend was watching on the sidelines, coincidentally put in perhaps the best performance I’ve ever seem him produce.
We managed to get a few short corners, with the first two being quickly despatched drag flicks from Dave and Jayden. Both skilfully saved. Upon winning our third short corner, we decided to mix things up and go for a third drag flick. They wouldn’t be expecting it this time. And, even if they were, the sheer speed of the ball as it blistered through the air, meant that no amount of preparation or concrete could’ve stopped Dave’s meteorite. GOAL: 1-1, just before the half time whistle.
At half time, we jostled ourselves into our usual circle formation and as I looked around, seeing my red-faced battle comrades, I saw hope. Eagerly, we all leant in to hear some encouraging words from one of our wisest elders, co-Captain Jason, who said how different his speech would have been if we were 1-0 down, but that the score was now 1-1, and that that was a good thing. END OF SPEECH
The second half starts with a bang, and we’re hurtling down the highway. Streetlights are whizzing past us like small flecks of lightning, or a shooting star that you almost catch a glimpse of; the type that you might have seen in your periphery so you decide to make a wish because you feel like you deserve it. I’m not particularly sure where this metaphor is going, but basically we thought we deserved some good fortune. Would our wishes come true?
Whilst it can’t have been particularly entertaining to watch, the second half started quickly and had moments of brilliance, mainly from the youngsters in the team. Ethan and Jonny appeared to have been possessed by some ruthless hockey-playing daemons, and Jack was picking passes out of the air like the owner of a vineyard reaping his crop. Hayden heroically laid his life on the line with a world class save using his… erm… armpit… Ignoring the smell, we have a lot to be thankful for with Hayden’s armpit. The game would have been completely different without it, and I’m not just talking about the smell. A worthy mention also goes to our resident ballerina, Theo, who did a few extra pirouettes at the sideline. He didn’t even have the ball for some of them, I think he just likes the buzz of getting a bit dizzy… Anyway, despite this dazzling war dance, they scored another, leaving us trailing once more. But again, we had employed our master plan as we had done at the beginning of the game. They had been tricked and were definitely being lulled even further into this false sense of security I mentioned earlier…
Our team chemistry is certainly coming along leaps and bounds, and as I bounded up the pitch to give some much needed support to the frontline, I found myself metres from the opposition D in what felt like an ocean of space. With the ball at his feet, Dave heard some squeaking from a nearby mouse that he thankfully mistook as me politely requesting for the ball. He found the moment to pass and I then purposefully cracked what some believed to be a reverse shot whistling just wide of the goal, but was in fact a thunderbolt of a pass, at about chest height, that was caught and directed down to earth in Zeus-like fashion by Jack who then proceeded to slot it nicely inside the near post. 2-2 - WE’RE BACK.
(I just want to take a moment to point out that I’ve no idea why there are so many references to ancient Greece. I guess it makes things funnier? Feedback not necessary.)
Moving on, the ball then swung across the pitch from side to side like a pendulum, which aptly depicts the slow passing of time in a game that was beginning to feel like an epic (and the match report is probably reflective of this too.) What I’m really trying to say is that both sides enjoyed some good spells but we thought it was probably about time that we dropped the act. It was time for the dénouement.
Suddenly, the mask was off and they discovered that we did in fact know how to play hockey. Jayden, Lieutenant Villa, Tom Edwards, and I were linking up nicely with the forward line. We had a bounty of consecutive chances which were unfortunately fruitless. At some point during this particular period of the game, Theo stopped spinning and enough blood returned to his head to allow him to make a few passes and it was rumoured that he even stepped foot in the opposition half, but rumours are not to be trusted.
Then, as if out of nowhere, Ethan used one of these attacking opportunities to blast the ball into the opposition net, thus scoring the glorious winning goal that was so deserved and we were able to finish the game with smiles on our faces. Good work, boys.
After the game, before we had even taken our first bite of the hearty Papa Johns meal awaiting us, Ethan wasted no time in telling us that this goal sits him comfortably as top goal scorer for the 2s with 4 goals in 5 games. Anyone would think that he was a forward… and that scoring goals was his job…
But seriously, well done to Ethan, and well done to the rest of the team. We’ve two weeks off now so let’s carry on winning when we come back after the break.
P.s. there were also some rumours of a green card being presented to one of our players during the game, but as I mentioned, rumours are not to be trusted. Perhaps it was actually some discussion about Jayden and his visa requirements for his transfer to the US in January. I suppose we’ll never know…
Match Report (Twit of the day) by Morris Moorhouse
Man of the Match: Jack Lawrence
Although ropey at times, we showed a strength and a determination that would have make King Leonidas envious. In one fell swoop, we’ve managed to leap-frog two titans of South Central Men's Division 5 North: Windsor 2s and Yateley 2s.
In typical Berko 2s fashion, we ingeniously started the game by going one nil down. We’re getting really good at lulling the opposition into a false sense of security…
Essentially, the game started and half of our team were caught daydreaming. Perhaps they were admiring the weather and thinking about how the rain had subsided so courteously to make way for a lovely afternoon game. Anyway, as they gazed upwards, with the exception of Jamie for who these clouds were probably about head height, we went 1 nil down after what felt like about 12 seconds.
After some quickly subdued shouting, we started to actually play some hockey. Jason didn’t kick the ball away, Dave was cantering around the pitch, and Jamie wafted the few remaining clouds away. Additionally, Jayden didn’t get sent off and, in the knowledge that his supportive girlfriend was watching on the sidelines, coincidentally put in perhaps the best performance I’ve ever seem him produce.
We managed to get a few short corners, with the first two being quickly despatched drag flicks from Dave and Jayden. Both skilfully saved. Upon winning our third short corner, we decided to mix things up and go for a third drag flick. They wouldn’t be expecting it this time. And, even if they were, the sheer speed of the ball as it blistered through the air, meant that no amount of preparation or concrete could’ve stopped Dave’s meteorite. GOAL: 1-1, just before the half time whistle.
At half time, we jostled ourselves into our usual circle formation and as I looked around, seeing my red-faced battle comrades, I saw hope. Eagerly, we all leant in to hear some encouraging words from one of our wisest elders, co-Captain Jason, who said how different his speech would have been if we were 1-0 down, but that the score was now 1-1, and that that was a good thing. END OF SPEECH
The second half starts with a bang, and we’re hurtling down the highway. Streetlights are whizzing past us like small flecks of lightning, or a shooting star that you almost catch a glimpse of; the type that you might have seen in your periphery so you decide to make a wish because you feel like you deserve it. I’m not particularly sure where this metaphor is going, but basically we thought we deserved some good fortune. Would our wishes come true?
Whilst it can’t have been particularly entertaining to watch, the second half started quickly and had moments of brilliance, mainly from the youngsters in the team. Ethan and Jonny appeared to have been possessed by some ruthless hockey-playing daemons, and Jack was picking passes out of the air like the owner of a vineyard reaping his crop. Hayden heroically laid his life on the line with a world class save using his… erm… armpit… Ignoring the smell, we have a lot to be thankful for with Hayden’s armpit. The game would have been completely different without it, and I’m not just talking about the smell. A worthy mention also goes to our resident ballerina, Theo, who did a few extra pirouettes at the sideline. He didn’t even have the ball for some of them, I think he just likes the buzz of getting a bit dizzy… Anyway, despite this dazzling war dance, they scored another, leaving us trailing once more. But again, we had employed our master plan as we had done at the beginning of the game. They had been tricked and were definitely being lulled even further into this false sense of security I mentioned earlier…
Our team chemistry is certainly coming along leaps and bounds, and as I bounded up the pitch to give some much needed support to the frontline, I found myself metres from the opposition D in what felt like an ocean of space. With the ball at his feet, Dave heard some squeaking from a nearby mouse that he thankfully mistook as me politely requesting for the ball. He found the moment to pass and I then purposefully cracked what some believed to be a reverse shot whistling just wide of the goal, but was in fact a thunderbolt of a pass, at about chest height, that was caught and directed down to earth in Zeus-like fashion by Jack who then proceeded to slot it nicely inside the near post. 2-2 - WE’RE BACK.
(I just want to take a moment to point out that I’ve no idea why there are so many references to ancient Greece. I guess it makes things funnier? Feedback not necessary.)
Moving on, the ball then swung across the pitch from side to side like a pendulum, which aptly depicts the slow passing of time in a game that was beginning to feel like an epic (and the match report is probably reflective of this too.) What I’m really trying to say is that both sides enjoyed some good spells but we thought it was probably about time that we dropped the act. It was time for the dénouement.
Suddenly, the mask was off and they discovered that we did in fact know how to play hockey. Jayden, Lieutenant Villa, Tom Edwards, and I were linking up nicely with the forward line. We had a bounty of consecutive chances which were unfortunately fruitless. At some point during this particular period of the game, Theo stopped spinning and enough blood returned to his head to allow him to make a few passes and it was rumoured that he even stepped foot in the opposition half, but rumours are not to be trusted.
Then, as if out of nowhere, Ethan used one of these attacking opportunities to blast the ball into the opposition net, thus scoring the glorious winning goal that was so deserved and we were able to finish the game with smiles on our faces. Good work, boys.
After the game, before we had even taken our first bite of the hearty Papa Johns meal awaiting us, Ethan wasted no time in telling us that this goal sits him comfortably as top goal scorer for the 2s with 4 goals in 5 games. Anyone would think that he was a forward… and that scoring goals was his job…
But seriously, well done to Ethan, and well done to the rest of the team. We’ve two weeks off now so let’s carry on winning when we come back after the break.
P.s. there were also some rumours of a green card being presented to one of our players during the game, but as I mentioned, rumours are not to be trusted. Perhaps it was actually some discussion about Jayden and his visa requirements for his transfer to the US in January. I suppose we’ll never know…
Match Report (Twit of the day) by Morris Moorhouse
Man of the Match: Jack Lawrence
Further reading